Growing up I always heard my mother say, “ It’s not your fault but It is your problem”. She would often say this when people would blame their current situation on their childhood, other people’s action, or just life getting them down. This is a hard pill to swallow for most because you have to deal with the fact of whatever cards that life dealt you are your problem. Yes, your parents were negligent when it came to making sure you had all the necessary tools to be successful. Yes, your father should have never left your mother alone to take care of you. Yes, your family decided to cut you off due to your sexual identity. No matter the issue that you are dealing with you have to be able to pick yourself up and know that you do have the ability to craft a life that you are content and happy with. Otherwise you allow your circumstances to determine what your life has the potential to look like.
You have to refuse to allow ANYONE to have that much power over you because if you don’t you might as well hand them over your life. The hurt that people caused me, I can decide to allow it to break me or I can use it as motivation to make sure my child never feels that way. Something that is quite common is that people oftentimes create these cycles “generational cycles” that continue to poison family ties for decades and even centuries. You have got to say this toxic, negative, and degrading way of life ENDS WITH ME!
As women this happens commonly when it comes to our romantic relationships. We may have never seen our mothers or aunts have successful relationships. Or, we deal with one bottom of the barrel man, and when the right guy comes along the we don’t know how to accurately process the love that he is bringing. We start to internalize that all men are the same after we deal with opportunistic children disguised as men. Oftentimes due to their mothers coddling them into believing that nothing was their problem and that someone would ALWAYS be around to fix it. Whatever your situation NEVER GIVE ANYONE the ability to write the rest of your story. Take your power back and make a conscious decision that whatever you have dealt with is NOT a life sentence for your future.
Life can be what you make it because you can take CONTROL of it. Something that I have decided will stop with me is the thought process that it is ok for boys to sexually promiscuous, but girls are supposed to be feel like sex is non-existent. My son and daughter will BOTH be raised to understand that sex is a beautiful thing when done with the right person and that the best way to prevent bad decision making is to think of if you would like to have a child that is like the person you are having sex with. They will understand that sex has the ability to create a soul tie that can connect you to a person for the rest of your life. I want them to think of all the possible implications of what their decisions can create. I want them to never question their worth and to know that EVERYONE does not deserve to have that type of access to them. THE GOOD, BAD, AND UGLY! What is something in your family that you have decided will stop with you? Comment down below your answer. I would love to hear what generational curses that we are breaking in 2020!
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