2020 was the year of hard lessons learned; there were ups and downs that no one could see coming. And for a lot of us, it was emotionally, physically, and spiritually draining. Raise your hand if this describes how you are feeling! And now that we have entered the new year, you may feel a bit lost in what you truly desire or need in 2021. And that’s ok, honestly for me my feelings on the new year change day by day.
Sometimes I feel like 2021 is going to be my year, while others, I struggle to find peace in the chaos. We often put our highs on display for others to see, but miraculously find a way to hide our lows from others, even ourselves. And in the midst of a pandemic, we found a way to overcome but often forgot to address the issues that have contributed to our failure all along. Either way, these are some lessons I’ve picked up in 2020, that have made my lows a bit easier throughout the year and hopefully in 2021 as well.
you are your biggest enemy
The only people who have the power to make you feel unworthy are individuals to whom you have given power. Instead of asking ourselves why do we feel less than, we should be asking why we allow people’s words to cause self-doubt within us. When the feeling of self-doubt starts to creep up on me, I make time to write out the things about myself that I love and the qualities I have that help me to feed others around me. Sometimes if I’m questioning a quality, ill also write my reasoning next to it so that I can make the list as concrete as possible (so I run out of reasons to doubt myself). We often give others too much of a say in the way we live our lives, when our true identity comes from God. When your identity comes from him, everyone else’s opinions mean much less.
in order to get to the victory , there is a battle
Everyone has their own specific battles to fight. For some, it may be self-esteem or imposters syndrome, and for others, it could be peer pressure or mom guilt. Whatever it is, as we go through difficult times we often lose hope which contributes to us falling into a deeper hole. A hole that can sometimes feel impossible to get out of. There are days that I wake up and feel like this has to be my lowest point, and the one thing that I’m always reminded of is that it can’t last always.
The battle is meant to build you so that you can withstand the victory. However, this doesn’t make the struggle any easier. If our lives were perfect what would we live for? Having the faith that the next day could hold the very thing you’ve been waiting on is what keeps us going. Dont allow the battle to deter you from the very thing you fight every day for.
deviating from a plan doesn’t mean you’ve failed, its called life
This was one of the biggest lessons in 2020 for me!!!!! I am a planner by nature. I was the girl who had her life planned out before I was 18 years old. I just knew that I would have my dream job by now, with my dream home, and the car to match. But NOPE!!! My reality is far from what I dreamed of a decade-plus ago. I would constantly beat myself up about not reaching the milestones I thought I should have already accomplished. Have you felt like this before? But with so many things going on, if I didn’t change this mindset I would have literally gone crazy. As people, we sometimes think we know what we want in life until something else comes to change our mind.
I thought I wanted to be a nurse until I had my son and realized that what I really wanted was to pursue a career that would allow me the flexibility to work from home. Does this sudden realization mean that everything I did up to that point, was a waste? No, it means that we are ever-evolving humans who can have many passions that we may not be aware of until circumstances change. Every journey in life is a chapter of lessons learned, 2020 being like no other. So next time you find yourself falling out of love with something you always felt a connection to, give yourself the grace to understand that as seasons in your life change, that your desires for your life can too.
marriages/relationships are the process of falling in and out of love with the same person over and over again
It seemed like 2020 was the year of divorce and breakups. People seemed picture-perfect like they had everything together. But as the stay-at-home orders were enforced, many had to come face to face with the true issues within their relationship and being able to talk about them effectively. No more running from the problems bars to drink your worries away or going out with friends. Constantly having to be in the same space as your significant other at times can breed intimacy and the other second discontentment. At times I found myself trying to get my husband to understand what I needed from him when he thought that he was doing everything right. There were times when my husband disliked my response to his requests. But at the end of the day, we knew that the relationship that we built even though it wasn’t the best at the time was worth sticking out.
You won’t always be in love with your significant other and what they do. This is where you have to find a way to push towards what you are both working to build. There will be days when all you can do is find the strength to add one brick (heck half a brick) to your home as a couple but the key is progress, not perfection. It’s also about what you do outside of your home that determines the connection in your home.
Now that we have made it to 2021, I feel that this is the year to really internalize the lessons learned in your life, especially the year 2020. And although it was a tough year, I am thankful for my growth as a person. I hope you are proud of the person you have grown into as well. Life is all about the lessons you learn, as they give you the tools you need for your future wins. I hope these lessons were helpful to you and I would love for you to drop any lessons that you learned in 2020 in the comments below.
If you found this post helpful, please share it on social media! Your support is greatly appreciated!
XOXO,
The Imperfect Woman
In 2020 my life was all about surrendering and through that I’ve learned and grown a lot. As you stated it more about progress than perfection. Here are a few of my lessons: to protect my peace by establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries, to be intentional with my marriage and my family, and to make time for me and my self care.
Whew!! It’s the first one for me. There is literally nobody in the world that is trying to hurt me. But I hinder myself by worrying about things to the point of being frozen and unable to move forward. If it’s not going to be perfect, I might as well not do it. But I’m not bringing that into 2021. This was an amazing post Caressa, and so insightful. Thank you for sharing!
These are four lessons that truly resonated with my 2020 rollercoaster. I may have deviated from my plan for my life this year but clearly Gods plan is bigger. Great read as always!
2020 definitely taught us a lot of lessons. I resonate with yours on being flexible with plans changing. I had to do that a few times last year and had to practice not beating myself up when things didn’t go as planned. Cheers to a fruitful 2021!
2020 was indeed a year to remember. I enjoyed this read. No marriage is prefect but your ability to fall in and out of love with the same person is what makes a marriage. Good read girl. Thanks for sharing.
I can definitely resonate with being my own worst enemy. I’m always so hard on myself and having self doubt. I’ve realized that I need to have more confidence and just stay true to myself.
Wonderful inspiring post, great points mentioned here and loved them all . Thanks for sharing!
I resonated with each of these. 2020 truly tested me in each area. As I walk in 2021, I working on becoming better at each one. This was a phenomenal post!