2020 has been the year of lessons and reflection. When COVID hit, it forced a lot of us to sit with ourselves and reflect on the journey of our lives. The good, bad, and ugly. There were lots of questions I was asking myself in my downtime, like what was my purpose? What am I not happy about in my life? What has stopped me from reaching my full potential? And although the year has been full of downs, there have also been ups along the way. The largest up was working on my personal growth. If you are looking for ways to help accomplish your goals, I have linked another blog post here.
Your personal growth is connected to so many other factions of your life. Chances are if your not personally content that there are other parts of your life that are suffering as well. From your family life to your social interactions, something is not living up to it’s greatest potential. Life is too short not to live the absolute best of it. And for us to be able to reach this we must purge the engrained mindsets that keep us stuck on the hamster wheel of life. Cycles love to repeat themselves when changes aren’t being made. Here are 4 ways that will help you to reach your ultimate personal growth.
1. being realistic
God can’t bless who you pretend to be. But a lot of us walk around wanting to see changes in places where we aren’t honest with ourselves. Do you deflect when others may express something that you did that may have hurt them? And you could be doing this unintentionally because the experience connects back to someplace where your hurt hasn’t been addressed yet. Whatever your reason, find time to self reflect daily and search your heart of habits and traits that are stopping you from reaching places of healing and growth. For myself, I struggled with being able to hear others out when they disappointed or let me down. But not hearing them out also led to me letting those feelings pour into the relationships I had with other loved ones. These were people who definitely deserved to be listened to and valued. Do not allow the poison of someones heart to change who you are and this is so easy to do. And if this does happen, be able to acknowledge it and take active steps to change it.
2. establishing your why
What is pushing you to be the best version of yourself? It is yourself, your family, your kids? What gets you out of bed in the morning? Sometimes when your why isn’t big or important enough, you don’t make the change you need to be successful. And this can be a hard pill to swallow. Sometimes your family may not be a big enough accelerator to get you to make a change and that’s ok, but this requires you to be honest with yourself. And chances are if you are your only reason why, you are more likely to fall short as well. Connecting your actions to a bigger purpose is a way to make those positive habits stick and keep you motivated enough to continue with the behavior. For example, my why is breaking generational curses and to create a legacy for my children that will put them in a progressively better place than where I started. This why forces me to check my heart, attitude, and actions daily to make sure that how I navigate this world is a reflection of my why.
3. call yourself out
Have you had a coming to Jesus meeting with yourself? This point somewhat connects with point 1. In order to be able to call yourself out, you also need to be able to be realistic. We tend to make plans and a goal, but negate the necessary steps to get there. Your reason may be that you have children to tend to, or are tired after work, whatever the reason you owe it yourself to take the necessary time. Instead of watching that 1 hour-long Netflix show, maybe take that time to pour into journaling, meditation, or goal setting. Make this time a necessity every week and treat it as such. Chances are that if you not reaching your goals, that there is part of the process that you are missing or simply ignoring. Also, try to find small pockets of time to be productive within. So maybe instead of scrolling with your 20 minutes of downtime, take that time to do something that is going to get you closer to reaching your personal goals whether that be exercising, reading a book, or creating a things-to-do list. We all have the same 24 hours to work with, but I can honestly say that times when I felt that I wasn’t growing, were also the times where I wasn’t calling myself out for my mismanagement of time.
4. establishing a tribe
The most successful people, always have people in their corner that help them to grow and push themselves past the limits they believe they can reach. You will not always feel that you can get to the finish line, so this is where your tribe comes in. Your tribe uplifts you, speaks life into you and holds you accountable. Accountability is so important as you try to reach personal goals because it helps you to stay on track with the goals that you set for yourself. If your tribe agrees with everything you do, chances are you need to add people to your tribe that are going to challenge you. Remember that growth doesn’t happen when your comfortable, so having others around you to help you when you fall short is key to maintaining long-lasting success and fulfillment.
The journey to obtaining personal growth can have its ups and downs. It requires self-reflection, intentional time management, and strength to be able to purge yourself of the negative traits and habits that are affecting your life. But once these things are done, its easier to experience the personal growth that you desire to see in your life. The more that you practice these things the easier it becomes.
XOXO,
The Imperfect Woman
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This was an excellent reminder for me to reassess how I am spending my 24 hours. I’m actually going to track it this week and see what changes need to be made. I so truly grateful for my tribe outside of blogging. But I honestly need a blogger tribe that I can understand the everyday struggles of blogging, that you can truly run stuff by etc. I love where you said your why may not be big enough! Some days I have definitely found this to be true. But, God’s always had my back and sends a ram in the bush to remind me to keep going! Thanks for sharing Caressa!
Thank you Kandelia, I hope you know that you can always come to me if you want to vent.
God can’t bless who you pretend to be!!! Now that’s a whole word there!! I started back journaling and being focusing on myself.
So happy to hear this! Focus can make the world of a difference.
This is a good reality check, There are times when I dream so big and I sell myself short not being realistic. Thank you for these great reminders.
Dont worry it happens to the best of us!
I am with Shana, a good reality check. I stay checking myself. Like “girl you already know you are mess when you don’t get enough sleep” or “now you know sleeping in is going to put your whole day behind”. But thankful that I do have a tribe that keeps me in check and holds me accountable for my productivity.
The inner voice inside of us will really tell you about yourself.
Many people go about pretending to be who they are not. We have to learn to be real and true to ourselves so we can clearly identify our problems, find solutions and become better versions of ourselves. Nice read.
Well said, couldnt have said it better myself!
I really like the part about establishing one’s why. Sometimes that can be easy to forget, especially when times get tough.
Yes, and it’s often the only thing that keeps me going when times are tough.
Realistic goals!! YES!!! I have a tribe!!! We actually have matching tribe (teepee) tattoos!!! Love this post so much
AWW, what a cute tattoo idea! Thank you for reading
Excellent post! Love all 4 of them and most relate to having a tribe. We are part of community and having each other is a great de-stresser and motivation!
My tribe pushes me when I am feeling down and I know I wouldn’t be where I am without them.
Excellent post!!!! It’s keeping it real and holds you accountable for reaching your personal goals. Especially in those moments when you’re blaming everything but yourself for why you may not be reaching them.
Right, sometimes the issue is really us and that can be a hard pill to swallow.
Being realistic, especially in terms of time management, is huge for working moms like me who are trying to set good personal goals.
Yes,its hard because we want to do it all, but we cant win if we arent able to sit down and actually get things done.
Personal growth is so near & dear to my heart. This is the season of harvest and self-awareness should be something you harvest as well. Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs places Self-Actualization at the top of the pyramid. When I look at this deeper. Making sure your needs, growth, healing, Joy, peace, etc are met first will allow you to be more present for others. Even if that means checking yourself in the process. I enjoyed my little internet sister🌻
So well said, we often try to fix our productivity without making sure that our basic needs are net.
Being realistic is the biggest one for me. I always try to do way too much and then feel bad when I can’t do it, knowing it was too much in the first place. This was a great post!
Right, being real with yourself is so hard. Because we want to do it all even though we know we may have bitten off more than we can chew.
Continually re-establishing my “Why” is so important!
Definitely, because your why can change based off your journey.
Thanks for sharing these tips, Caressa! Definitely figuring out the “why” behind what I do + being realistic about where I’m at & what I need to do to get where I want to be, has been key in my journey of personal growth.
I am so happy to hear this!!
Wow great tips! Personal growth can be such a journey. Sometimes I have a hard time changing mindsets and usually that’s where change needs to start lol. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us!
Des | https://www.itsbetterinheels.com